Two simple practices that can bring joy when life is hard.

The Bible gives some bold directives. Paul, writing to a group of people who were both impoverished and persecuted, makes one of them. He writes, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I will say, rejoice” (Phil. 4:1). Had I received that letter from Paul’s hand, I might have been tempted to ask, “Really? Why don’t you try to rejoice in these circumstances!” But elsewhere Paul reminds us that he had done so.

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:9, 10).

The apostle Paul was a seasoned veteran when it came to persecution and suffering (2 Cor. 11:23-29). Yet, he always found a way to rejoice. Here are two simple ways to pursue joy during difficult times.

Review your past with gratitude, not with negativity.

Ann Voskamp is the bestselling author of A Thousand Gifts. Her book was developed out of a journal where she simply kept a daily record of things for which she was grateful. She began to see these past experiences as gifts. She encouraged others to do the same with a list of 1,000 gifts as the goal. Perhaps you’re thinking Ann’s life was untouched by hardship. Not so fast. Her publisher shares Ann’s past. He writes, “As a child, her sister was crushed under a truck in front of her and her mother.  Consequently, her mother checked herself into a psychiatric hospital and her father couldn’t find God.  As an adult, she stood beside her brother-in-law as he buried his first two sons.  Voskamp is a wife and mother who does not grin through the pain but battles to believe that in God is joy. She believes that there are as many gifts amid the grittiness of life as in the moments of celebration.”

God told the Old Testament Israelites to set up memorials; places where they could remember what God had done on their behalf. The Lord knew their propensity for negativity. He saw in their heart their tendency towards a complaining spirit. He knows ours as well. As Christians, this is one of the benefits of routinely celebrating the Lord’s Table. Down through the centuries, Jesus’ words remind us of what was done on our behalf.  He said, “this do in remembrance of me” (2 Cor. 11:25).” Whatever our circumstances, we come back to that bedrock moment for which we are to be grateful: Jesus Christ died in our place when we did not deserve it.

Refocus on others’ needs, not your troubles.

While reliving our past properly may help our attitude, it doesn’t disperse our present-day difficulties. To do so you’ll need to love others well. Such love would have us put others’ needs ahead of our wants. And it would make sacrifices accordingly. Love and joy intersect at the crossroad of others’ needs. When we are refocusing on others’ needs our own troubles often pale.

I had friend who was a brilliant man. Rarely did I ask him a question, particularly about history, for which he didn’t have an answer. Until his retirement, he had committed his life to raising up the next generation of teachers. He’d influenced hundreds of teachers and, through them, thousands of students. The year prior to his death he was bedridden.  His condition was so complicated that he could not be cared for at home. Imagine: for 365 days he was continually uncomfortable and in need of constant care. Yet, for the dozens of times I visited him in the hospital, I was never greeted with anything but a smile. His questions centered on me, my work and my family. And it just wasn’t me. That’s how he was with all who visited him. My friend had found the key to joy: whenever possible, refocus on others’ needs, not your own troubles.

So, here are two simple practices that bring joy in hard times. Review you past with gratitude, not negativity, and refocus on others’ needs, not your troubles. Joy will follow.

I’m struggling to love those closest to me – what should I do?

In the English language we have only one word for love. That’s unfortunate. It means that this word is going to need to cover a lot of territory. A high-school girl will tell you she loves her boyfriend, her boyfriend will tell you he loves the Philadelphia Eagles, and both will tell you they love Pizza.  When a word is overused like that, it loses its meaning. The Greeks had a better approach. They created multiple words to maintain the meaning. The word philadelphia describes brotherly love. The word philastorge describes a love between family members. And my favorite, agape describes a love that is willing to make sacrifices for another. The best definition I have ever heard of sacrificial love is found in 1 John 3:16-18.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Love is Sacrificial

Agape love is all about sacrifice. In the text, Jesus is the ultimate example. He laid down his life for us. While Jesus did it in a single act, most of us will be asked to do it in bits and pieces.  Perhaps this is what is meant by “I die daily” (1 Cor. 15:31). The best marriages are those where a spouse has learned to sacrifice their wants and desires for what is best for the other partner. The best parents are those who are committed to regular sacrifices for the sake of their child’s growth. Sacrifice becomes a good determiner for who you love more – yourself or the other person.

If I love you, I will sacrifice my wants for your needs, but if I love myself more I will sacrifice your needs for my wants. You might want to read that again.

Let it sink in, and then imagine its use in each of your relationships. Do you love others more or do you simply love yourself?

Love is Volitional

Volition is a word that describes your will as it plays out in your choices. This is where biblical love stands in sharp contrast to our culture’s understanding.  Love for many is described as an emotional response. We’re attracted to a person because of something we like about them.  But, Jesus taught us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Enemies don’t attract us; they repel us. When someone uses you, you may respond emotionally, but chances are it won’t register on the love spectrum.  This volitional aspect of love clearly needs to be revisited in our culture where we believe we can only love those that we like. But when it comes to the issue of choice, love and like are not synonyms, they are more like antonyms.  You like someone because of, but you love someone in spite of. When we’re attracted to someone (even in a platonic way), it’s easy for the feeling of love to grow. But for relationships to go the distance, to grow through the better-or-worse-times, agape love is the way to go. We can choose to love others that way, because that is how God first loved us (Rom. 5:8).

Love is Practical

In Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Cogsworth, the butler-turned-clock, instructs the Beast in ways to show his love to the heroine, Bell. In his stuffy, English accent he says, “Well, there’s the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep.” His cynicism reveals a truth we all know: words are cheap, but real love is costly.

John warned us of this danger. “Little children,” he said, “let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” True love is practical. It includes our words but isn’t limited to them. It looks for ways to show love in a useful, concrete way. This is the natural progression of a love that is sacrificial and volitional. It doesn’t wait to be asked, it looks for ways to help. If you’re struggling to love those closest to you, here are three ways to grow. Look for ways to sacrifice. Look for ways choose their needs over your wants. Look for ways to practically serve.

How thinking about heaven brings clarity to our time on earth

On the night before Jesus died, he informed his disciples that he would shortly be leaving. He said,

In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

Two times in this passage the word “prepare” occurs in the context of eternity. Remember, preparing in advance is a major challenge for the procrastinator. Simply apply that truth to the scope of your entire life, and you will understand what Jesus knew—you ought to be preparing for eternity. The Bible encourages us to live with the recognition that this world is not all there is. C.S. Lewis believed that most Christians lived as if this world were their home and heaven was a far and distant land. He challenged his generation to reverse the metaphor. He said that we were living in the far country and heaven was our home. Imagine that you are an American Citizen, with a two-week vacation scheduled in Europe. Would you not attempt to do as much as you could in those 14 days, knowing that you would shortly be returning to your homeland? When we are reaching for eternity we won’t procrastinate on the tasks that are before us because—in light of eternity—this life is so short-lived. Knowing that our citizenship is in heaven, should change the way that we spend our time on earth.

When I speak or serve in another part of the world, I often think that way. Sure, I enjoy the new sights and sounds of a distance land. I like to experience the culture and get to know its people. But by the end of the first week, I’m ready to go home. When I served on a humanitarian aid trip to Bosnia, I actually took out pictures of my wife and kids every night before I went to bed. I studied them, I remembered, and I smiled. I couldn’t wait to see them again. After five days, I was homesick, but there were still seven days left of service. Those seven days were really productive days. We delivered medical supplies to a hospital, mattresses to widows in a village, and basic food supplies to refugees. Our team didn’t procrastinate on any of these tasks. I didn’t once think I’ll do this next week, because the next week I was going home. Heaven isn’t the far country—you’re living in the far country. When you mistakenly call it home, you’ll procrastinate on what should be done today. But when you set your eyes on heaven, you’ll see today clearly, because you’re hoping that tomorrow you’ll be home.

Taken from: Taking Back Time: biblical strategies for overcoming procrastination

4 Essentials to Affirm when you Differ from Another

We live in a world that is becoming increasingly divided, and at the same time more heated in those differences than ever before. As Christians, with so much in common, why do we spend so much energy debating our differences. Could it be that we are to model for the rest of the world the right way to treat each other when we differ?

The apostle Paul addressed the differences of his day between believers in the 14th chapter of Romans. Here are four commitments to affirm whenever you differ with another believer.

(1) I need to let God be the judge – he’s better at it than I am.

Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand (Rom. 14:4).

While it is true that we are to take a stand on issues the Bible clearly addresses, it is likewise true, that when the Bible is unspoken on an issue, we would do well to not be so outspoken. When we bring the same degree of passion and authority to every issue, we start to lose our voice on the things that really matter. When something is simply a matter of opinion, we would do well to engage with it as such.

(2)  I need to remember God can be glorified by means other than mine.

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God (Rom. 14:5-6).

Whenever we have seen God work through the means we have chosen to use, we are prone to think that’s the best way for him to always work.  Yet, God doesn’t need my ideas or strategies to make himself known to a lost world. So, when I see him work through me, I should remember he is just as active through others and through their means as well.

(3) I need to keep the main thing the main thing.

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself…For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living (Rom. 14:7, 9).

It’s easy to make my differences about you and me. But the main thing is that Christ died and is now living. That’s something worth agreeing upon. The cross of Christ is the main thing.  Brent Riggs captures it this way: The closer an issue is to the cross the more dogmatic we must be about it. The farther away from the cross an issue falls, the more generous we must be in granting Christian liberty.

(4) I need to care more and convince less.

For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died (Rom. 14:15).

So often in our differences we think that if we can offer one more argument, raise our voice, or interrupt our opponent before they finish their sentence we will be more convincing. The truth of the matter is that I should be more concerned about them than I am about making my position known. I am to be more concerned about their grief, than my grievance. When I do so, then I am walking in love.

Seeing others through mercy’s eyes

Jesus saw people differently than we do. When the disciples saw children as a nuisance; Jesus saw them as citizens of heaven. When the religious leaders saw the tax-collectors as despicable; Jesus saw them as reachable. And when men saw prostitutes as disposable; Jesus saw them as redeemable—women in need of healing and forgiveness.

Several times in the Bible it says that when Jesus saw a large crowd he felt compassion. That word compassion can also be translated as mercy. In other words, when Jesus saw people he had mercy. How might our relationships be different if we saw through Jesus’ eyes of mercy? Here are three ways.

When we see others through mercy’s eyes, we would see the needs that others don’t see.

When Jesus fed the 5,000 he saw that they were hungry, but the disciples only saw a shortage of restaurants.

Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves (Matt. 14:15).

When you’re looking through the eyes of mercy, people’s needs take priority over difficult circumstances.

When we see others through mercy’s eyes, we would go beyond what others would expect.

There was no promise of a free meal when the people started gathering for Jesus’ teaching and healing ministry. Neither Jesus nor the disciples had a contractual obligation to provide dinner. But notice Jesus’ words to the disciples.

But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” (Matt. 14:15)

When mercy is your motivation you will go beyond what is expected. Your overwhelming sense of their need will cause you to want to give. Tim Keller captures this unique difference between the culture and church.

The early church was strikingly different from the culture around it in this way – the pagan society was stingy with their money and promiscuous with their body. A pagan gave nobody their money and practically gave everybody their body. And the Christians came along and gave practically nobody their body and they gave practically everybody their money.

When we see others with mercy’s eyes, we will both depend on and participate with God in meeting others’ needs.

Jesus took five loaves and two fishes, prayed to the Father, broke up what had been given him, and started filling baskets. And after thousands of people were served, there were 12 baskets leftover—one for each disciple.  Imagine the story they had to tell when they brought dinner home at the end of the day! People’s needs will always be more than we can handle; that is why we call out to a merciful God to help us show mercy to others. But dependent prayer isn’t the end of our effort; rather, it should inspire participation. And, just like the disciples discovered great blessing in that participation, so will we when we do likewise.

Am I really as good as I think I am?

The attorney should have known better. This was not your standard deposition. Nevertheless, he posed the question: Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? The teacher countered with a question of his own: What is written in the law? How do you read it? The attorney knew the law, and he answered accordingly: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.  There was no catch in his voice nor moment of conviction. Confident that he had fulfilled the first commandment, he went right to the second: and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

The attorney allowed himself a smile. This was just like law school. Answer correctly and move to the head of the class.  Eternal life was his for the taking. The teacher appeared to confirm his position when he replied: You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.

But the teacher’s response gave the attorney pause. While the teacher had acknowledged the answer was correct, he had added something—do this and you shall live. What did he mean by do this? Wasn’t the answer sufficient? No one could be expected to love God that perfectly. And what about your neighbors? Loving God was hard to do, but loving some people was downright impossible. If the teacher had known some of his neighbors, he wouldn’t have expected him to do this. As his conscience brought conviction, his mind sought a way out. Maybe not everyone was to be considered a neighbor. He blurted out his defense as a question: And who is my neighbor?

If he had sought release from the pressure of the law’s conviction, he chose the wrong question. The teacher answered with a story that has become a classic — the parable of the Good Samaritan. In so doing, he proved to the attorney that he was not who he thought he was; that he had fallen hopelessly short of not only the second commandment, but the first also.

One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?” The man answered, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!” The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.  A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’ “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same” (Luke 10:25-37).

 

 

Did Jesus ever take any down time?

Often in the Gospels we read of Jesus working on the Sabbath. He healed, taught and discipled others with surprising regularity on the day that the religious leaders had set up with their no-work-regulations. When you read the pace of his ministry in the Gospels (Mark uses the word “immediately” 42 times), it’s easy to think Jesus never had a moment for recuperation. It got me thinking: did Jesus ever have down time?

There are several times in the New Testament where Jesus departed to be alone. One of these appears to be habitual; another comes at a point of crisis.

When wisdom is needed seek some time alone.

And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, “Everyone is looking for you.” And he said to them, “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.” And he went throughout all Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and casting out demons (Mark 1:35-39).

Jesus is not oblivious to the needs in the town where he’s been ministering. But departing to a desolate place, making time for prayer, and spending time alone brings the discerning wisdom to move on in his ministry.

When a crisis arises seek some time alone.

Everything about John the Baptist’s death was wrong. It was politically motivated and gruesomely celebrated. It appears King Herod didn’t want to do what he did, but his pride wouldn’t allow him to acknowledge his foolish oath.

And the king was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he commanded it to be given. He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus. Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick (Matthew 14:13-14).

Look carefully: when Jesus heard the news of John the Baptist’s death, he departed to a desolate place. While the place didn’t remain desolate for long, it seems to have provided him the means to see the gathering crowd with compassion and not weariness.

Yes, Jesus took time alone both with regularity and in crisis. If you’re lacking wisdom regarding a difficult decision or struggling with weariness due to a crisis, his example is one worth emulating.

How the Fruit of the Spirit Could Impact Your Relationships

I live in the farm country of New Jersey. Our portion of the state is the reason that the most densely populated state in the Union still bears the name the Garden State. My bike rides  or evening runs take me past fruit orchards and vineyards. In the winter months the trees and vines appear lifeless; there’s no fruit to be found. In the spring, those same trees erupt with  blossoms. Acres of flowers: white for the apples and pink for the peaches. But, still no fruit. To be a farmer in this area requires great patience. You do all your work and then you wait. You dare not rush the fruit; you have to give it time to grow.

When God chose a metaphor for our spiritual growth he called it the Fruit of the Spirit.  It’s the perfect image. While we should anticipate growth in these areas of our life, we would not expect it to happen overnight. In a world that looks for quick fixes for relational problems, these nine words are worthy of our study. They are especially helpful  for you and me, when our relationships are difficult. They take away our excuse for a sinful response as a reaction to those who sin against us. For example, just because someone is impatient with us that does not necessitate our impatience in return. Likewise, for each of the words. They often take on greater clarity in the face of another’s wrong doing. Here is the passage along with some simple definitions.

But the fruit of the Spirit is  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23)

LOVE is your sacrificial choices of words accompanied by actions.

JOY is your predetermined attitude of praise unhindered by difficulty.

PEACE is you settled confidence of mind unaffected by circumstantial change.

PATIENCE is your willingness to remain under difficulty.

KINDNESS is your purposefully tender spirit with the undeserving.

GOODNESS is your active and generous involvement in the life of another.

FAITHFULNESS is your promise to keep your word and do your best.

GENTLENESS is your strength under control in order to show tenderness to others.

SELF-CONTROL is the crucifixion of your desire to please yourself, so that you might grow in your desire to glorify God.

 

 

Six questions for spiritual self-diagnosis

Like many of you, I have more than one doctor. I visit my family doctor annually, but with the regular change of seasons in New Jersey, I visit my allergist regularly. I never feel rushed when I’m with either of them, and they have the same approach: they ask questions. Those questions give them the ability to determine the state of my physical health.

It got me thinking: what if I would learn to ask myself questions routinely?  Questions that – when answered honestly – might help me diagnose my present spiritual condition. I recently came across six of those kinds of questions in Paul Tripp’s book Dangerous Calling. Since they were helpful for me, perhaps they will be for you as well. While directed towards ministers, the questions are effective heart diagnostics whatever your calling.  I attempted to answer them with the first word that came to mind. I encourage you to do the same as you attempt to diagnose your heart condition.

1-The absence of what causes me to want to give up and quit?

2-The pursuit of what leads to me feeling overburdened and overwhelmed?

3-The fear of what makes me tentative and timid rather than courageous and hopeful?

4-The craving for what makes me burn the candle at both ends until I have little left?

5-The “need” for what robs my ministry of its beauty and joy?

6-The desire for what sets up tensions between my work and my family?

My answers caused me to realize I needed some heart work. Perhaps, yours did too. Like any good doctor would tell you, perhaps it’s time to make some changes.

No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other…Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need (Mat. 6:24, 33, NLT).

Why is Death so Difficult?

It’s one of the hardest things I do as a pastor. No matter how many times I do it, it doesn’t get any easier. When a family loses a loved one it’s painful, but when we leave the cemetery after a graveside service the pain is ratcheted up. On more than one occasion, walking back to my car, I’ve uttered under my breath, “Man, do I hate death.”

The grieving widows. The young daughters and sons. The parent who is trying to grasp the reality that their child died before they did. Death steals our hopeful expectations of the future. It destroys our plans for being together tomorrow. It is unbearably difficult. Perhaps you’ve experienced Nicholas Woltersorff’s words in Lament for a Son,

The pain of the no more outweighs the gratitude of the once was. Will it always be so?

No, it will not always be so.  But, today it will be.

A pastor friend of mine once shared that death was hard, because we were not created for it. Men and women were made in the image of God to live and not to die. It is sin that brought death (Rom. 5:12). When it did, all of humanity was asked to experience something they were not prepared for. It’s a bit like asking a delicate ballerina, to take her place on the offensive line of your favorite NFL team. She wasn’t made for it. When it comes to death, neither were we.

But there is hope, because the Lord has promised us we will not walk through the experience alone (Heb. 13:5) The Psalmist saw our loss and offered this promise.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18).

So, while death is unbearably difficult, the Gospel offers the hope of life returned. Jesus said,

…whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment but has passed from death to life (John 5:24).

Sin brought death, but Jesus’ death brings life.