4 Essentials to Affirm when you Differ from Another

We live in a world that is becoming increasingly divided, and at the same time more heated in those differences than ever before. As Christians, with so much in common, why do we spend so much energy debating our differences. Could it be that we are to model for the rest of the world the right way to treat each other when we differ?

The apostle Paul addressed the differences of his day between believers in the 14th chapter of Romans. Here are four commitments to affirm whenever you differ with another believer.

(1) I need to let God be the judge – he’s better at it than I am.

Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand (Rom. 14:4).

While it is true that we are to take a stand on issues the Bible clearly addresses, it is likewise true, that when the Bible is unspoken on an issue, we would do well to not be so outspoken. When we bring the same degree of passion and authority to every issue, we start to lose our voice on the things that really matter. When something is simply a matter of opinion, we would do well to engage with it as such.

(2)  I need to remember God can be glorified by means other than mine.

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God (Rom. 14:5-6).

Whenever we have seen God work through the means we have chosen to use, we are prone to think that’s the best way for him to always work.  Yet, God doesn’t need my ideas or strategies to make himself known to a lost world. So, when I see him work through me, I should remember he is just as active through others and through their means as well.

(3) I need to keep the main thing the main thing.

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself…For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living (Rom. 14:7, 9).

It’s easy to make my differences about you and me. But the main thing is that Christ died and is now living. That’s something worth agreeing upon. The cross of Christ is the main thing.  Brent Riggs captures it this way: The closer an issue is to the cross the more dogmatic we must be about it. The farther away from the cross an issue falls, the more generous we must be in granting Christian liberty.

(4) I need to care more and convince less.

For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died (Rom. 14:15).

So often in our differences we think that if we can offer one more argument, raise our voice, or interrupt our opponent before they finish their sentence we will be more convincing. The truth of the matter is that I should be more concerned about them than I am about making my position known. I am to be more concerned about their grief, than my grievance. When I do so, then I am walking in love.