How growing faith enables greater faithfulness

Few words wreak havoc on our relationships like the word unfaithfulness.  Simply ask the employee whose 401K is depleted by his boss’s illegal activity and extravagant living. Or the wife who promised her faithfulness at the altar, and later discovered that her husband’s similar promise went unkept for years without her knowing it. Or the law enforcement officer whose partner’s under-the-table operations jeopardized his life each time they went out on a call. When someone has been unfaithful in a relationship with us, it can cause us to grow cynical in our other relationships as well. Faithfulness matters.

It is not difficult to see that the root word in faithfulness is the word faith—a word that has significant usage and meaning in the Bible. In our postmodern culture, the validity of one’s faith is often determined by how strongly they believe. Roy Bennet communicates our culture’s idea: Don’t let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible. Most contemporary thoughts on “faith” are like Bennett’s: If you just believe in yourself more, anything is possible. But the Bible presents a different position. It isn’t the strength of your belief that determines its validity, it is the object of the belief. Noitice the distinction that the Bible makes.

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Biblical faith assumes that God—the object of our faith—truly exists. Our imagination does not bring him into existence; nor does he cease to exist if we choose not to believe in him. The Bible declares God’s genuine existence and his participation in our lives from beginning to end. The first four words of the Bible simply state: in the beginning God, and the final words in the Bible declare he is returning soon (Rev. 22:20). Furthermore, genuine faith doesn’t only believe in God, it believes something about him—that he is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him.

The faithful person keeps his promises.

This is helpful if we wish to become more faithful in our relationships. Like God, we should follow through on our promises. While faithfulness is not perfection, it should characterize our daily living. What we say should square with what we do.  When my grandfather was raising his family during the Great Depression, work was scarce in rural Minnesota. Eventually, he moved his wife and seven children to Iowa. As a farmer, he owed some of the local merchants and his neighbors various sums of money. Prior to moving away, he went to each of his creditors, explained his situation, and promised them he would return. Most were surprised that he sought them out before leaving the community. The local grocer even packed several bags of groceries for the family at no cost, simply because my grandfather acknowledged that he was leaving with a bill unpaid.  When my father would recall the story, he was always careful to tell how years later, my grandfather with cash in hand drove back to Minnesota to pay what he had promised. The faithful person keeps his promises.

The faithful person does his best.

Jesus told a parable about three servants. Before their master left for a far country, he entrusted each with a large sum of money. The first two servants got busy and wisely invested the funds that had been placed in their care. The third servant procrastinated on investing his master’s money. In fact, he actually dug a hole and buried it in the ground. The day came when their master returned. The first two servants had doubled their master’s investment. The master acknowledged their hard work when he said, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much” [emphasis added] (Matt. 25:21, 23). The third servant, however, didn’t fare so well. When he was asked to give an account, he confessed, “I was afraid, and so I buried it.”

Fear weakens faithfulness.   Just like financial ventures incur risks outside of our control, so do our relational commitments. We make commitments not knowing if the same commitment will be reciprocated. C.S. Lewis captured this risk in one of his most famous insights:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Overcoming the fear of potential loss is essential to showing yourself faithful in your relationships. Why? Because fear backs away from an unknown future, but faith embraces it. That is why, if you are unwilling to work on genuine faith, you’ll always struggle with faithfulness.  As your confidence in God’s faithfulness to you grows, so will your commitment to show yourself faithful to others.

Phil Moser is the author of the Biblical Strategies series. This selection was taken from his upcoming book Learning to Love: biblical strategies for strengthening your relationships.

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